What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Randomize
