I just pynch a tree in the face
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Randomize
