He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
soo... how was my night?
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