That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
