I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
