Your mouth is God's brothel.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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