her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
MIDGETS
????
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
