who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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