sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
don't judge my taste in strippers
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
