i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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