Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
NoShamevember. You game?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
