yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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