i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
