4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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