Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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