if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
