Nicole vs. Life
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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