TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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