how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
