i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
