Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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