just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
