I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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