Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Randomize
