i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
