the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
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I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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