normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I have surprise drugs for everyone
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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