hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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