he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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