Umm I'm too high to move.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
