It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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