Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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