I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
