Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
