She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
