What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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