I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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