Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
