I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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