Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
