I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
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Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
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