i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Soap is not a condiment
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
