she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
