id be glad to
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
