I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
