I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
