what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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