You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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