Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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