I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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