the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
