I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
