Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
