Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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