Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
