if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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