He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
You can't just leave with hair like that
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
