Life is so much better after having sex.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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