is your mom at the bar?
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Randomize
