I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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