My friends, they love my intelligence
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
