I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
