What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
